TrumpCare Platinum Plans

This is the finest TrumpCare Plan you could buy if you could afford it. But you can't.

TrumpCare Gold

Sign up for the Gold TrumpCare Plan and save. You can't afford it, so you'll save thousands of dollars.

TrumpCare Silver

I like silver, it is nice and shiny and not gaudy like gold. President Trump never uses silver in his hotels.

What about bronze plans?

Bronze is gone and nobody will miss it. What is bronze anyway? Does anyone ever ask for a bronze ring or necklace? By the way, bronze doesn't fit in with Trump's dictator style of gold plated toilets, canopy beds, fresco-style ceilings and colossal chandeliers.

A note about Medicaid

The millions of low-income people cover by Medicaid by ObamaCare will get dumped. That's so the wealthiest individuals can get tax breaks. And yes, we call that freedom. A note - if you are an emergency room doctor, get ready to get slammed.

But Trump said we will get better healthcare that's more affordable for everyone

He lied.