BYE BYE OBUMMERCARE. HELLO TRUMPCARE.
TrumpCare is the Law. What is Next?
You voted us into power and we are grabbing power by the balls. We are the Republican majority in the House and Senate. We control the courts and we control the President (easier than you think when you have embarrassing Russian BDSM photos). We wrote TrumpCare on a wet cocktail napkin, blind drunk...in the dark. The details, the facts, the cost? Who knows? That's why it is perfect.
So what are you supposed to do? Click this button because there is nobody to write or call. TrumpCare you are on your own. What's that smell you ask? That's the smell of freedom or Steve Bannon after a bender.
TrumpCare - Cheaper, Better Healthcare for Everyone
TrumpCare is finally here, rejoice. Save thousands of dollars by not buying unaffordable health insurance - like it used to be. Tired of high drug costs? Don't worry, you won't need drugs since you can't afford a doctor to prescribe them. Relive the days of 12 hours long emergency room waits where the overworked doctor tells you to rub some dirt on it - suck it up and crawl back to work.
Enjoy your huge healthcare savings with our TrumpCare plans - just like President Trump promised you. "We're going to have insurance for everybody," "You can expect to have great health care. It will be in a much-simplified form. Much less expensive and much better," Well, President Trump delivered. Choose your Trump Care plan here and enjoy.
The TrumpCare Story Behind the Story
After 51 votes to kill Obamacare, Republicans finally "caught the car" and didn't know what to do with it. So they pulled this TrumpCare plan out of their tush, regardless of the impact on your health, costs and lacking important details - just for you. TrumpCare really isn't a health plan, it is a tax cut, the largest tax cut for the wealthy in history. Don't worry, you are paying for that tax cut, with your blood and guts. Literally.
Meet Our TrumpCare Team
President Trump only hires people who are really really smart, just like President Trump likes to remind us how smart he is. By the way, if you must keep saying how really really smart or how really really rich you are - then you aren't. Sure we left out hundreds of others - the Republican Congress you elected who passed this mess. And yes, you get the politicians you deserve.
When you think of health, you immediately think of Steve Bannon. Referred to as the Joseph Goebbels of the Trump admin, Bannon plans to get rid of Jewish, Indian and other minority doctors. We're goose-stepping with joy!
Health and Human Services Director
Director Tom Price derides the thousand+ page bill that created Obamacare. He promises that the TrumpCare bill will be written on a wet cocktail napkin and will be as effective. Here's the exciting part, Mr Price won't stop there. Next up, he's going to privatize your Medicare.
That Thing Living On Trump's Head
Who knew healthcare could be so complicated?